Meeting negativity with passive optimism. (basically non-perpetuation of drama)
I got a text yesterday from K today to the effect of, "So, are you putting up gaurd rails in your stairwell today to keep our son safe this week end?"
A reasonable question, unless you know K. Again, as I recieved the text my son was sleeping here in my room, safe and sound. I haven't let him run up and down the stairwell while I'm in the other room drinking a beer and smoking crack, not even once! I'm a great dad. Now my darling baby mama, who was about to take Kai to the emergency room, because he was crying, rubbing his eye, and hot (more than likely from crying really hard) has been having nightmares about him falling down the stairwell. I admit I have gone through it once or twice in my mind, but again, I don't let him in the stairwell alone and the doors have latches he can't reach. The point here is that every day it's something else; put up his tree swing, check out my electrical box, move me and my parents into one of your houses and charge us next to nothing in rent, do you have any extra contact lens solution, case for my iphone, spare pancreas (for the diabetes).
Side note from your pal about being super careful about who you have sex with; the condom could always break; and if she ever tells you she can't get pregnant, don't believe her; I promise you, unless she's post menopausal, she doesn't know for sure. Take it from me kids, you might just find yourself on a friday night, wanting to go out to a party or a really great concert in orlando (Theivery Corporation & Massive Attack), but have to settle for warming up a bottle of milk, puttin' on some Barney, and trying not to get too much poop on your hands, or the floor, or everywhere, while the cutest little face (hopefully) looks up at you laughing, or crying hysterically (depending on their mood and if they had a nap)
Today's nap is going well. So it will probably be smiles, and I'm not too tired to write about this little optimism project of mine, and about yesterday's text, and it's obvious subersive method of controling me from afar via sarcastic guilt tripping. i.e. if you don't put up railings today you don't love your son... huh? what? I didn't hear you, I was too busy hitting the pipe in the other room, Oh shit, where's Kai?!!
So I responded to K about when her folks were coming to pick up Kai, and just skipped past any possible escalation point. Don't get me wrong, I had written up a zinger of a snappy comback and had my finger on the send button, but after a moment of pondering and going through the last ten times this same moment had occured. 50% of these had involve, at some point, a threat to me of going to court; why, I'm not sure. I pay far more than the state minimum, and show no income. I assume it's more of the inconvienience and potential for a state mandated anal probe that would inspire the kind of fear a single mother (who thought having a child would make a guy leave another woman for her) would want to envoke in a guy (who has reluctantly entered father hood, and would have quite possible left the other woman for said mother had it not been for the bombshell of not being made part of the decision to become a parent)
Yes, I am that guy. Only my episode of Jerry Springer wouldn't have been that funny, because I know how to speak proper english. I mean really? who wants to watch that? It's the crazy drama of people reacting unconciously to one another that people want to see; and personally I'd rather be happy than famous, if that's what it takes. I hate the real house wives shows, and the "real" world, and all those damn reality contest shows. In my reality show, I want to be the guy that helps people solve their problems by offering some great zen koan and watching them squirm over it, while mosey on, sipping a scotch. Now, that's a show I'd watch!
"So maybe have your parents pick him up around 4?"
P.S. the grandparents showed up at four to take kai to the circus; and a moment of thinking about the possible positive outcomes equaled no nasty text back, no escalation, no headache, no drama, no wasted energy. I gave myself a pat on the back, and a thank you to optimism! Truely though it was the thinking back to all the bullshit past that made the difference, so, thank you optimism for making me take the moment to observe myself, and think about things.
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