Dec. 21st 2010
What the hell happened?
How long has it been?
Where was I?
I woke up this morning with a pain in my back and only the most terrible thoughts running trough my mind realized I had forgotten myself. Forgotten to say my mantra, forgotten to stretch, forgotten to eat healthy, forgotten to stop drinking coffee habitually every morning, to shave to, shower, to drink water, to work out, to even take a moment to think about what I want, or what I have that I am grateful for.
I missed the lunar eclipse last night, which I really wanted to view, as it was on the night of the solstice for the first time since like 1638 or something, and accompanied by a meteor shower. I drank to much amoretto, and woke up with a headache, in Bridget’s bed (which I vowed never to do again because it hurts my back so much), and lastly, what I was dreaming about when I woke up was crying at my (now deceased) mother and step father for doing shoddy renovations to our house which would make it unlivable for us all.
Things are bad. Forget backsliding, I have fallen off the cliffs of optimism and have only just this moment grabbed on to the ledge where the valley of darkness begins. Looking down as my shoe falls off and flies away into the chasm, remembering how beautiful it was up there. and trying to catch my breath, and think of a way to pull myself up, and start the voyage up the mountain again.
Checking in here is a good start.
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